BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN

Hair loss is synonymous with cancer treatment and from experience, having a mum who has gone through chemotherapy, I have seen the effects it can have on a person. Straight away, through hair loss, in the eyes of a stranger you are reduced to a cancer patient. What before was perhaps a quiet, even hidden, aspect of your life, swallows you whole and you are transformed from a living, breathing, multi-dimensional character with quirks and personality to, on first appearances, a hairless, sickly victim of dreaded cancer.

announcement

How I greet people nowadays.

I know I have hardly kept my cancer quiet, in fact I have pretty much screamed it from the rooftops so that everyone has to pay me attention, and so the part about hair loss putting the word out there doesn’t really apply. But my hair loss will still mean that cancer is the first thing people will think when they see me. Whereas before people knew, but may not have felt the need to ask me about it, I wonder whether this hair loss will make cancer the big, bald elephant in the room. I think sometimes people feel awkward asking me about it, but they also feel awkward not asking me about it; maybe this will increase things towards the latter.

(In case that seemed like a hint, I really don’t mind whether you want to talk about it with me or not; I have in a way started the conversation with this blog and it is something I feel comfortable talking about, but on the flip side if you ask me about it and I’m really not having a good day, then I do reserve the right to not talk about it. I also appreciate some people do not want to talk about it, it may make people uncomfortable, in which case not speaking about it is fine too!)

prof q

Professor Quirrell, my fashion guru

Overall, I do not know how I will react to my hair loss. Some part of me thinks that, yes, perhaps I will feel like the above, self conscious and sickly, but another, probably larger, part of me doesn’t feel all that assed. I have had the occasional moment where I have tried on a head scarf and thought Jesus, I look like I should be in a bathtub or like Professor Quirrell from Harry Potter, but I think that is to be expected. A meltdown every so often is, to me, not particularly indicative of fear; I freak about plenty of things that I am worried about in that moment, but then often I am shortly distracted by something else and it goes away.

before 2

Me with really greasy hair beforehand

Who knows exactly how I will react? I might have a good idea, but I have definitely miscalculated before. Either way, freak out or no freak out, I have decided to take this hair loss into my own hands. Or more to the point, I placed my hair, still firmly attached to my head at this point, into the highly skilled and generous hands of the hairdressers at Headmasters in Surbiton, who so kindly offered to colour and cut my hair, free of charge, to transform me from a brunette into a blonde bombshell.

And transform me they did! Yesterday I had a day of pampering at the salon, where my fabulous cousin, Lucy, and her brilliant manager, Sian spent a good few hours bleaching, bleaching and well, bleaching. Basically, there was a lot of bleach.

before

The bleaching begins, again pardon the grease

Going light is something I have always wanted to do, but I have been put off by the knowledge that it would absolutely destroy my hair. Luckily for me I got cancer and so this hair thing worked out quite well. I feel like I have been able to turn something negative, some loss, into a positive. I have been able to do something I have always wanted to do but never would have done if I was to keep my hair. This idea of turning my loss into my gain and taking control is something I have tried to continue throughout this treatment. I have created this blog, I have invested (heavily!) in headscarves, I have dyed my hair a fabulous colour, I have bought new lipsticks and an eyebrow brush with the excuse that it will detract from the baldness. I also keep shouting CARPE DIEM whenever I want to buy or do something I know I shouldn’t.

Headmasters helped me find the biggest positive in all this though, and they also gave me a chance to stop and think of myself. Whilst I have been going through treatment and the past months have been focused on nothing but myself, it has constantly been myself in relation to cancer; cancer is the focus, I am the backdrop. Yesterday was all about me, just me, and it was brilliant to know that for the day cancer was in the shadows, my understudy, gone.

So here is some piccies and the lowdown on the hair!

foils

Me sporting future disco hair-gear

Originally we were aiming for silver, an aim that I knew was probably achievable because of my darkish natural colour, and all the different dyes on the ends of my hair. I had braced myself for the moment when I would be told silver was a no go, but Headmasters were amazing and told me that although it was extremely unlikely they could do it, they were going to give it a shot and that we would go from there. It was nice to be told that and when grey was unachievable there was no disappointment in me at all. Honestly, they were so amazing and had made me feel so special, without also making me feel like it was some big deal or some cancer perk that had landed me there, that I was having an absolute ball and would have been happy with any colour really. Plus I trusted them to land me another fab colour because I could see they were completely intent on getting me something special.

foils and lucy

My cousin, Lucy, and myself

All in all it took a big bleach job and then bleach bath after bleach bath. My head was just a tad stingy and pink by the end, but you know how it is – you’ve got to suffer for fashion. After the dye was complete they cut it for me and kinked it, so I left feeling very Marilyn (although luckily for everyone in Surbiton I wasn’t wearing a skirt and there was no gusts of wind from the subway that day).

purple

Purple drain, purple drain

It was the best day I have had in absolutely ages and I want to say the most enormous thank you to Headmasters, and particularly to Sian and Lucy. They made more of a difference than they can know, not just to my hair but my mindset and sense of self worth. This may sound over dramatic but going to appointment after appointment has been wearing me down, and at some point it is hard to find that sense of you when all you are ever focused on is getting better. For the past three weeks, this egg harvest has been about future me. Yesterday was about me right now, and I can say without a doubt that me right now is absolutely ecstatic with my hair! So thank you!

Today chemo starts and I will be doing a post on that, about my feelings and how it actually measured up to my expectations, in a few days. For now let us remember to do something that is truly for ourselves every so often, and bask in the soft peachy blonde glow of my new hair, that will remain safely on my head for three weeks (hopefully)!

 

grey

Me with the silver dye in. Unfortunately at this point my hair had been so bleached to get it light enough, that it absorbed the black in the dye loads and so it turned my hair really dark again. This meant there was about another hour of bleaching to get it light again.

dry

The drying begins.

me 2

The finished product! (Plus my super hip silver bag)

me sian lucy

From left to right: Sian, manager of the Headmasters in Surbiton, myself and Lucy, my cousin. These two ladies are the best.

car park

Me modelling my hair and my crutches in the super chic car park in Surbiton. Note how I don’t have polio,

 

 

cousins

My cousin, Lucy, and I living it up in Pizza Express. It was really lovely to see her and we had such a nice day catching up.

About the Author

tumourhasit@gmail.com

11 Comments

Allison Semikin

What’s great day it was and such a heartfelt thanks to Sian and Lucy and headmasters for making it possible for Beth. Hair loss is not an easy thing as I know but you have embraced the fact that this will happen and you look absolutely stunning in your headscarves and boho bandanas. You did look a little prof quirrel but a damn good looking one. So admiring your bravery through all of this poop. Love you to the moon and back xxxx

Reply
Jayne Plackett

Well Beth I think you look absolutely beautiful with your blonde hair and you will look absolutely beautiful with your headscarves so bombshell good luck with your chemo and keep up the brilliant writing career xxxxx love Jayne

Reply
lesley Gagg

you look great, very very glam.
It was definitely time to have a `me` day
.Love
Nanny Rabbits

Reply
Shelley McGeeney

Beth, I hope you don’t mind me commenting but ever since you left your card and generous Easter eggs at RMU I have been addicted to your blog. You are literally such an inspirational person. From the moment you attended RMU, your bravery and humour was such an unbelievable sight to see from someone going through such a difficult time. Us as healthcare professionals ca only learn from you, your blogs and other people in your situation so thank you!!!

Your hair is unreal! You look so beautiful. Go blondie!!!! Loving it. (I would be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping for a bit of the “silver fox” ;-)) I’m sure it was uncomfortable sitting for so long but damn, it was worth it!

Love to you and your also inspirational Mum.

Keep in touch!

Lots of Love

Shelley

Clinical nurse specialist (reproductive medicine unit, UCLH)

Reply
Sue Cunningham

Loving the new look Beth! 😀 Good luck with the chemo…hope the days fly by and you can look forward to a happier summer. Take care sweetie. Much love xxx

Reply
Wendy Bamping

A day for you at last Beth, and it looks like you had such a wonderful day and looked so gorgeously glam with your new hair colour, it really suits you.
Loads of love as always xxxxxx

Reply
Jackie Owen

Hi Beth, you are still amazing everybody with how you cope with every hurdle, your blogs are fantastic! I love your new hair colour – you look fabulous. Good luck with the chemo – you are a very brave young lady.
All the best,
Jackie Owen xxx

Reply
Costinela

Dear Beth! Of course you have died your hair blonde as you are a true knight in a shining armour( and definetly blonde suits your platinum soul). I am sure your cancer just became blonder too and it’s turning its back on you as you are too fashionable and posh to wear it 😉 ). I am keeping my fingers crossed and I know you are ok and will be ok as the shirt moment we had I just knew you are going to make it . And when I say you are going to make it it’s not just beating this annoying cancer that puts everything on hold for now, I know you will be doing something great that will change people’s lives . You are a true ambassador of positivity and the mother queen of all queens with beautiful big eyes! Keep strong and know that we are all holding our fingers, legs, eyes 🙂 crossed for you. I feel ,, Bethed,, to have known you / and so honoured to have learned from you / . Love C

Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *